How Loss Can Help Us Appreciate Life More Deeply

Loss is one of the most profound and painful parts of being human. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a pet, a role, a home, or a version of life we once knew—grief leaves a mark. It changes us.

But over time, and often when we least expect it, loss can also become a teacher. It can soften our hearts. Strip away the noise. Remind us what matters most.

Grief, in all its heaviness, has a way of revealing the beauty that’s been there all along.

A Personal Story

I am the youngest of eight. All of my siblings are quite a bit older than me. The one closest in age, my brother Clyde, was almost nine when I was born. Despite the age difference, we shared a special bond—one rooted in deep love, mutual respect, and a lot of laughter. Clyde loved children, animals, music, puns and jokes that made you roll your eyes. He also loved people, especially his family and his little sister.

When Clyde was killed in a car accident in 2015, I was crushed.

Over 400 people came to his funeral. It was standing room only. And the reason so many showed up is simple: Clyde focused more on others than he did on himself. He listened. He cared. He loved. His life was a living example of what truly matters—not status, not things, but connection, compassion, presence. So many people stood and shared how Clyde just listened, and made them feel heard and understood. Or how quickly he was there with a helping hand when needed.

One of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received came shortly after he passed. My sister-in-law sent me a note sharing all the ways she saw how much Clyde and I were alike. It was an incredible gift at the time—one that filled me with both comfort and pride. And it made me want to be even more like my big brother. More kind. More present. More loving.Losing him reminded me—painfully and powerfully—of just how precious life is, and how meaningful a single life can be when it's lived with open-hearted generosity.

The Presence Behind the Absence

When someone we love is gone, we begin to notice the spaces they once filled:
The laugh that’s now missing.
The phone call that no longer comes.
The way they made us feel seen, valued, loved.

Those empty spaces are painful. But they can also wake us up.
We can choose to begin to notice life more clearly—because now we know how fragile, how fleeting, how sacred it really is.

A Deeper Gratitude

Loss can brings clarity. We can start to cherish the small things we used to overlook:
A warm hug. A shared story. A quiet walk. A familiar voice.

We can hug a little longer. Speak more gently. Look people in the eyes. Let them know they matter to us.
Because we know now—none of it is guaranteed.

Loss teaches us to live more fully, more gratefully, more awake.

Letting Loss Shape Us Gently

This doesn’t mean we’re glad for the loss. It means we allow the love we had—and the grief we carry—to shape us into people who feel more, give more, and notice more.

We can choose to let it soften us instead of harden us.
We can choose to let it deepen us instead of define us.

You’re Not Alone

If you are walking through grief, you are not alone. The pain may never fully leave, but neither does the love. And sometimes, that love—carried forward—is what helps us see life with new eyes.

At Silver Sage Coaching, I create space for these sacred transitions—for the remembering, the honoring, and the choosing to live fully, even after loss.

Let’s walk gently together. There is still beauty to be found, and you don’t have to find it alone.