Love Across the Miles: Navigating Grandparenting From Afar

If you’ve ever found yourself tearing up during a holiday movie—watching families gather around a dinner table, laughing and sharing stories—you’re not alone. For many of us in our Silver Season, being far from our children and grandchildren creates a quiet, persistent ache. I know it well. My daughter and grandsons live on the East Coast, while I’m here on the West Coast. It’s been over two years since I’ve held them close.

To be fair, the distance was a choice—at least on paper. I’m originally from the West Coast, but when my daughter’s family moved to Virginia, we couldn’t bear the idea of being so far apart. So we sold our home and moved to a small Southern town sight unseen, hearts full of hope and heads full of visions: weekly family dinners, lunch and shopping with my daughter, grandkids playing on the lawn, and the sweet chaos of togetherness.

But real life rarely follows the script. Our daughter was busy with work, and as the boys grew older, their time filled with school, sports, music, and friendships. That’s exactly how it should be—children growing into their lives. Still, we found ourselves feeling isolated, unable to break into the cliquish rhythms of a small Southern community. It was a drastic change for a couple used to having a large family and many friends. We love to entertain. Suddenly, we had no one to invite to parties or barbecues, and no reciprocal invitations. Many holidays passed far too quietly, with just the two of us at the table.

After four years of trying to make it work and pretending we were happy there, we made the difficult but necessary decision to return to the West Coast—this time to a 55+ community. It wasn’t the path we’d imagined, but it was a step toward rebuilding joy and connection in a way that honored our stage of life.

And while I’ve never looked back (I love my life in Arizona), holidays are different now. So are birthdays, football games, and piano recitals. There are moments—big and small—that we long to be part of. We don’t want to miss a thing. And yet, life sometimes puts distance between hearts that would rather be side by side.

It can also sting a little more when friends talk about having their grandkids for weekend sleepovers, beach days, or summer vacations. You smile and listen, genuinely happy for them—but there’s an ache behind that smile. You wonder what it would feel like to be part of the daily fun, to watch your grandkids grow not just through photos or updates, but right in front of you.

So how can grandparents manage to stay connected, present, and loving from afar?

1. Honor the Grief of Missing Out

First, let’s not pretend it’s easy. Long-distance grandparenting can stir up feelings of loss, guilt, and helplessness. It’s okay to acknowledge that. Missing out is a form of grief. Give yourself permission to feel it without judgment. The ache is simply love with nowhere to land in the moment.

2. Find New Rhythms of Connection

While we may not be able to attend their school play in person, we can be front row in spirit. Schedule regular video calls. Ask them to show you what they’re building with Legos or to play that new song on the piano. Mail a postcard just because. Send a silly video. Send a text message. Write a letter or send a card that reminds them how proud you are. Small gestures, repeated often, create lasting bonds.

3. Be a Steady Presence, Even from a Distance

Children remember who shows up emotionally, not just physically. Even from 3,000 miles away, your consistent love, interest, and encouragement help shape who they become. Share stories from your childhood. Ask questions about their dreams. Let them know they can always count on you.

4. Bridge the Generational Gap with Shared Traditions

Create shared experiences you can both look forward to: reading the same book, baking a family recipe on FaceTime, or sending “Grandma’s Weekly Wisdom” in a text. These become rituals—threading connection into their everyday lives.

5. Make the Time You Do Have Count

When those in-person visits happen, be fully present. Soak up the laughter, the chaos, the cuddles. Take photos. Tell stories. Be silly. Let them see you as the beautifully grounded, joy-filled presence you are.

Long-distance grandparenting is not what any of us imagined. But it can still be deeply meaningful, beautiful, and soul-nourishing. The love you send across the miles is real. It’s felt. And it matters more than you know.

Let’s remind each other that though the miles may stretch, love always finds its way.

Have you found creative ways to stay connected with your grandchildren from afar? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’re in this together.